Catch 22

I haven’t been writing much these days. Not really. It’s not that I don’t want to write. In fact, I really want to write. I would love to write. Isn’t this the one thing that I’m good at? That I really like. That I really love. That I want to hold onto like the morning dew holds on to the petals of a flower.

But still, in spite of all this and more, I’m not writing.

Why?

There is too much noise in my life. Too much static. Disturbances. There are chores that need to be taken care of. Work that pays for my current life. A life that I never wanted. A life of tucked in shirts, and smart suits. Naah. I hated all that. But it pays for my life. The life that I never wanted.

Then there are things that I don’t want to do but still end up doing. The ‘yes when I should have said ‘no’. The outings that contribute nothing to my existence or my wisdom. There are mindless chatters to be listen to. The endless clicks on the internet put as bait just for me.

Oh fuck you.

The mindless chatter in my mind won’t stop. It will fill the every available inch there is. Every second of my life. The only way to stop it is to write. And I’m not able to write because of this mindless chatter.

It’s a catch 22 situation. And I need to get out of it one way or the other.

Parasite

The world is full of predators. Dangerous and powerful. Lurking in the corners, silently, patiently. Ready to pounce on you, tear you apart, every bit, every ounce of flesh from you. They will not stop, never have, never will.

But they are not the worst kind.

The worst kind are the parasites. The suckers. The one living off you. Off your work. Off your efforts. Lame and pathetic, they will mingle in the crowd. Harmless and innocent, they will never stand out. You will look through them. And it is this moment they wait for.

Pray for. Hope for. Live for.

Sometimes, they will help you. No, don’t think they have had a change of heart. These people live by the motto of – you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. They will not wait, even for a day. They want return on their investment, a payback.

And if you fail to do so, they will go away and look for an another host.